Die to Live

Have you ever felt like the walking dead?
 I have... in fact I felt that way for a long time!

At the end of 2009 I celebrated my 33rd birthday. This meant that I was 33 for most of 2010.
Someone commented one day to a friend (who was also 33) and I that Jesus died when He was 33. We laughed when they said it. But the truth is... I died when I was 33. I cannot tell you exactly when it happened but it did. No I don't mean died as in stopped breathing and having a heartbeat. I meant the person that I was died!
Ok, clearly not a physical death as I mentioned earlier… but a different kind of death. What I mean is, I had been walking around carrying all sorts of death in my body.

What death was I carrying in my body?… fear, hate, malice, pain, shame, lies, lust, pride, lack of trust in God, anger towards God, selfishness, cowardice. (I will end this list here so that no one tries to have me committed to an asylum.)

In order that I might have true life, these things had to die. Death!

For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body” 2 Corinthians 4:11

I am not really sure what Apostle Paul meant, but my interpretation, or what the verses speak to me is… that  in order to have true life, the life of Christ, I have to share in the death of Christ.

See we often get all excited about new life in Christ. We get baptized and take communion and all the good things to identify with Him. However, we forget that identifying with Him means that we also identify with Him in His death.

So this death that I am speaking about has nothing really to do with me being 33 at the time. It is indeed something that everyone who is a believer must go through… at some point. We symbolize this death with our baptism service. You know they say that we die and then rise to new life in Christ… symbolized by going backwards under the water then coming up… yes alive!

(Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.) 2 Corinthians 4:16

When you is going through one of these dead periods, you learn so much about yourself and about God, if you let Him. You see the real you... and you see the real Him.

The best thing about the year of death is… rising again. This hasn’t been a one day occurrence but it feels like full life is slowly but deliberately. The cool thing is that the things that had to die have been and are being replaced, with better things like boldness, love, joy, peace, patience, etc (see Galatians 5:22 to 26)

I feel like a different person.

Truth is... I am still the same person that I have always been. I still love eating chicken and playing the guitar.

I still dislike matches, and cabbage and still have pain in my joints.

But inside… inside something amazing has taken place. Real healing!!
No I am not perfect, a lot still has to happen in my heart… I suspect it will take a lifetime. 
Now I feel like God is saying to my soul… “Wake up, and see what  I have done, and am doing!”

The cry of my heart is, “Show me Your Glory! Let Your Will be done in me!”

I encourage you to die so that you might find true life.

“For You and You alone, awake my soul, awake my soul and sing
  For the world You love, Your will be done, let Your will be done in me”
Awakening, Chris Tomlin